Tag: religious trauma

  • When Helping Ourselves Becomes Hurting Ourselves: My Journey with Rumination

    For years, I thought retelling my abuse story was helping me heal. I had no idea I was retraumatizing myself every single time. Today I discovered the hidden pattern that’s been keeping me stuck—and why even well-intentioned therapy can miss it.

  • The Ground Beneath My Feet

    All I’d ever done was pretend—first in the family that raised me, then in the church. I didn’t even know I was pretending. Then I finally faced the truth, and people were talking about me. What followed was almost a decade of wandering. But what I’ve found in peer support groups isn’t another savior—it’s shared…

  • Care or Carrying?

    **Tags:** – trauma recovery – boundaries – codependency – religious trauma – emotional responsibility – self-leadership – caring vs carrying – parenting adult children – healing patterns – compassion fatigue – inner work – family dynamics – faith deconstruction – emotional boundaries – recovery coaching **Excerpt:** I was 17 when I called my ex-boyfriend to…

  • Finding Joy and Hope Beyond the Emotional Highs: A Journey from Manufactured to Authentic

    After losing the intoxicating emotional highs of church community, I discovered that true joy and hope aren’t dramatic peaks to chase, but subtle moments that accumulate like stalactites—building lasting strength one drop at a time in the darkness.

  • When the Shell Cracks: Finding Truth Beyond Religious Performance

    Truth always finds a way to surface. Our ego tries to keep everything together, but eventually the shell cracks and what’s inside starts leaking out. If we’re brave enough to look at what seeps out instead of frantically patching the holes, we might find what we’ve been searching for all along.

  • The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Finding Truth Beyond Collective Narratives

    We tell ourselves stories in order to live,” Joan Didion wrote. But what happens when those shared stories—our collective narratives—become barriers to the very connection they promise to create? Growing up with parents whose lives were like apple carts filled to capacity, I learned early how fragile our shared stories can be. One uncomfortable truth…

  • When Authority Becomes the Enemy of Truth

    “Blind belief in authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” — Albert EinsteinThe ambulance lights cut through the darkness at the convenience store. Someone had played Russian roulette and lost. As I drove past that night, seventeen and heartbroken after my boyfriend left me for my best friend, I looked up at the empty sky…

  • Why Systems Choose Silence Over Survivors

    When you’re a survivor and hardly anyone believes you, it becomes almost impossible not to question yourself. Even with a therapist saying over and over “this isn’t your fault,” even with the friends and family who stuck around telling you the same thing, that part of me that was wired to believe I needed the…

  • Walking in Shadows: A Journey from Darkness to Light

    The toxic faith I grew up with convinced me that looking inward was dangerous—that if I dug beneath the surface, I’d discover nothing but the rot of an irredeemably sinful heart. But what happens when someone already drowning in that internal darkness looks outward and sees nothing but more of the same? When it finally…

  • You’re Not Crazy: Psychology Finally Recognizes Religious Trauma

    “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson For years, those of us who walked away from toxic religion were told we just had a ‘bad church experience’—but a groundbreaking American Psychological Association article is finally validating what we’ve known…