A Liminal Space

I’m not a football fan. I didn’t even know who was playing in the Super Bowl until I googled it yesterday. But I watched anyway—for the halftime shows. And what I saw revealed something far more important than football.

Last night we had two halftime shows to choose from. Some people are up in arms about it. Others think it’s ridiculous we even care this much about entertainment at a football game. But as I processed what I felt watching one show, then the other, I realized these performances reveal something critical about our values as Americans.

And I’m not talking about red and blue. Not Democrats or Republicans.

Two Visions

I loved Bad Bunny’s performance. The image of people from different backgrounds holding different flags, walking side by side, with those words displayed—”The only thing stronger than hate is love.” Unity through diversity. Community. All of it done tastefully and with hope.

Then there was the Turning Point show.

I need to be honest: I was triggered by it. Not because it was terrible—it wasn’t. But because it reminded me of growing up in the environment I did, where the values being sung about are the same values I grew up with. The same values many of my neighbors still hold.

Kid Rock’s final song stands out. He’s singing about fishing, love, restoring an old car with his grandad. And in that final verse—the Bible and Jesus.

These are the values I grew up with.

And some of them didn’t turn out at all like I thought they would.

The Thin Bubble

Here’s what no one tells you about belonging based on shared beliefs: it’s fragile.

When I was part of the evangelical church, I felt safe and protected—so long as I believed the same things as everyone else. It was like living inside a thin bubble of shared beliefs.

There were moments when I felt important, like I was part of something meaningful.

But when I realized I’d been manipulated and abused by the pastor, that bubble burst. Suddenly I was isolated and alone, not because I had changed as a person, but because my beliefs had shifted.

I’ve struggled ever since to find community based on something more durable than conforming to a group mindset. People don’t realize how fragile this kind of belonging is—how quickly you can be rejected for stepping outside the lines.

So the Turning Point performance reminded me of loss and disillusionment, even as I know many people found it comforting and affirming.

And the freedom in Bad Bunny’s performance? It reflected my desire for all of us to enjoy the freedom that comes from embracing our differences.

The Real Issue

As I thought about both shows this morning, I realized the real issue wasn’t which values were right or wrong. It was the fact that there’s division at all.

Both halftime shows reflected different cultural values. Neither was inherently bad.

Where it gets bad, in my experience, is when we judge something or someone as bad and start to dehumanize them. That’s where the real problems happen.

I watched a video recently by Brené Brown where she said something profound: she’d engage with anyone until they started to dehumanize another person.

That’s where I stand too. I’m turning off people on the left and the right because of dehumanization. That’s not a value I aspire to.

We can draw boundaries against harmful language and behaviors without dehumanizing another person.

Here’s what I think is really happening underneath all this division:

When you feel that urgency to pick a side, to find your tribe, to defend your position—that’s not conviction. That’s survival.

And most of us don’t even realize we’re doing it.

I believe we’re more collectively traumatized than we realize, and we’re operating in survival states. When we’re in survival mode, we seek safety in sameness. We look for our people, the ones who believe what we believe.

It feels like protection.

But it’s actually a trauma response. And it keeps us from the kind of connection we’re truly hungry for.

If you love football and I don’t, that’s okay. If you love Buddha or the Bible, that’s okay.

But if you love judging and demonizing others through your language, that’s not okay.

What We’re Really Hungry For

I think underneath all of this is a real desire in most of us for meaningful connection.

We have more in common than we do different. Most of us want the same things: community, peace, belonging, love.

When I look at nature—all the different animals and plants working together in ecosystems—I see that diversity creates thriving, not threat. Different species need each other to be resilient and healthy.

It makes no sense to me that we gather in groups and ostracize others who are different from us. That’s not how life works when it’s healthy.

After losing my church community because of judgment, it means so much to see people coming together for the right reasons—moving towards unity, believing the best about each other, standing together in support of what is right.

But if the way we’re trying to get there is about squashing others? I want no part of it.

What I Want Instead

I want to be part of something different.

I want to be part of a life on this planet that is curious and kind and loving. A life that rejoices in our diversity—not a belonging based on rejection, but one where people can be true to themselves and belong without pretending.

The only thing that makes sense to me is that we’re on this planet to live and thrive together. Not to create smaller and smaller circles of sameness until we’re alone in our rightness, but to widen the circle until it includes people who don’t think like us, don’t believe like us, don’t look like us.

That’s the vision I saw in Bad Bunny’s performance—different flags, different people, walking together.

That’s the kind of belonging I’m interested in now. Not the thin bubble of shared beliefs that bursts the moment someone questions or changes, but something more durable.

Something built on our shared humanity. Our shared longing for connection. Our shared presence on this planet.

That’s what true belonging looks like to me.

And I think it’s what most of us are really hungry for, even when we don’t realize it.