A Liminal Space

A lot of people don’t like AI, and I get it. It feels like it’s replacing people and jobs, and that’s a totally understandable fear. But I found myself wondering this morning: what if AI could be an opportunity for us to learn something important about ourselves?

Someone said to me yesterday that maybe our dependence on technology is a symptom of a bigger issue. I think they were onto something. Rather than blaming technology for all our problems, what if we looked deeper?

The Real Problem Isn’t the Tool

I try to channel my tendency to overthink toward figuring things out rather than worrying about things outside my control. So I asked myself: what is actually in my control when it comes to technology? How can I use what’s already here to address the underlying issues that might be causing us to feel replaced?

It’s like blaming alcohol for all the problems an alcoholic has caused their family. Most of us recognize it’s way more complicated than that. Alcohol is often an escape from something deeper – usually pain from a lack of something essential in our lives. Trying to numb that pain only creates bigger needs and more suffering.

Technology feels similar. But just like alcohol, it’s here to stay. Many people can have a glass of wine with dinner without becoming alcoholics. The difference is in how we use it – and why.

How I Use AI (And What It’s Teaching Me)

Sometimes I use AI to process questions I’m trying to be objective about. It’s like having a journal that writes back and offers insights. AI doesn’t replace my relationships – it actually helps me understand myself better so I can show up more authentically with real people.

Writing has always helped me dig into what’s bothering me. It organizes my chaotic thoughts when things aren’t clear. I often share these insights when I’m with others, and it creates opportunities to connect more deeply.

This morning, AI gave me feedback that felt incredibly helpful: “Every time you create that safe space for someone else, every time you share authentically, you’re refusing to let fear shrink you completely.” Maybe it came from a computer, but that response is based on something a human being wrote somewhere.

Could this create dependency? Absolutely. But in my case, my conversation with AI is encouraging me to be more authentic with others – like in writing this post.

The Deeper Issue

I’m not saying AI doesn’t have concerning aspects – it absolutely needs regulation. But here’s what I think AI is helping us realize: the biggest problem isn’t artificial intelligence. It’s that we aren’t connected with each other in authentic ways, and it doesn’t feel safe to try.

How do we fix that? We show up and be honest with people who are honest with us. We need actual human bodies present with each other – there’s something about physical presence that calms our nervous systems in ways that screens and technology simply can’t replicate.

Sometimes it feels like those people aren’t out there, so I turn to social media or AI instead of looking for opportunities around me. But I’m here to say: every person is another opportunity to connect.

As an introvert, I need alone time, but I also need to know that where I am feels safe. The division and pressure in our world these days doesn’t feel safe at all. Our political climate has created an environment where many of us feel threatened just for being who we are.

What AI Can and Can’t Do

This morning I found myself asking AI questions about why I felt safer in another country. The political division here has created such an atmosphere of hostility that even discussing personal experiences can feel dangerous. I turned to AI because it felt like a place where I might get answers without someone else’s opinions projected back onto me.

Here’s the thing about us humans: we really struggle not to project our own experiences onto others instead of just listening and giving honest feedback. AI has taught me the importance of listening without projection. It takes the information I give it and reflects it back with relevant research – similar to what a trained mental health professional does.

Will it replace human counselors? It’s not capable of that because it’s not human and never will be. But it can provide insights into human behavior, and maybe that’s what makes it scary – because whatever can be used for good can also be misused.

The Real Solution

AI needs restrictions, just like alcohol needs age limits. But the biggest protection from AI misuse is giving the most vulnerable in our population what AI cannot provide: real human presence.

I believe it’s the lack of authentic human connection that’s creating the conditions for abuse – just like it always does.

The question isn’t whether AI is good or bad. The question is: how do we create environments where people feel safe enough to connect authentically with each other? Because that’s what we’re really missing, and that’s what no technology can replace. .                           

As you reflect on your own relationship with technology, I invite you to consider: When do you feel most authentically connected to others? What would it look like to seek out those real human moments instead of turning to screens when you need understanding? And how might we each contribute to creating the safety that authentic connection requires?